So, I believe I have entered the realm of Dante's purgatory. I am going to call this "Debt Purgatory." We just got our mortgage current, but still have the phone calls from either creditors or collection agencies. I can always tell its them now because they no longer use "1-800" number, they like the weird out of state zip codes etc. lol. I am also dating payments in advance, which is somewhat discouraging since our time/pay is already owned Plus, our car needs another $250-300 worth of work. I swear, I am really getting tested by the Big Guy in the Sky/Life. Plus, I find it a law of attraction/magnet thing too as weird as it sounds. The debt seems to attract debt (we will also call it interest, lol)and problems/all the messy issues associated with distractions/things breaking down etc.I am finding this whole phase fascinating and kind of miserable at the same time with this law of attraction. However, the most unbelievable thing is how I continue to get help along the way, receive great suggestions, and somehow manage to feed my family (now $50-75/weekly). Nonetheless, I have made some amazing new friends in the last year, appreciate dealing with this now/not later, and also appreciate my job. These are the things that will get me out of this ridiculousness.
So, I hate to say this, but despite dealing with overpriced cupcakes etc, I am not happy at all with the program for the kids after paying almost $200 per week, along with totally B.S parenting obligations. So, I think I will take them out and teach them at home with a guided curiculum for the next couple of years, of course with extracuricular activities so they interact and develop social skills with other kids. Aside from the around $800/per month/near $9,000/per year, I have really had it! If anyone knows of a place to start or look into for various curiculums, please kindly let me know. Just like the past year where I am facing the truth about money, crappy friends, my future, it is now the same reality with my kids/educational results and stress
So, despite doing the full time mom/maid/chef thing during the day (minus the two half days kids are in school), working evenings, and trying to climb out of debt, I am running into some, well, incompetance with the hubby. I went to work this evening only for a few hours and all I asked him to do was "Change the kids bed sheets, put new ones on, and give them a bath." I came home and only one kid was bathed, the other one was still up coloring, one bed was changed, but no new sheets and he said he did some dishes (a few cups). Wow, this is not fun and while I pointed out that he didn't really help me or do the things I asked, he stormed off somewhere. So it makes me wonder if I should hire a college or high school kid to help at maybe $10 an hour 1-2 times a week/4 hours total to watch the kids while I do the rest around the house? It has been like this for sometime now, hubby thinks all he has to do is got to work and come home. I would be spending $40, but wonder if it's worth it or try and cut some corners elsewhere?
Today I had to bring cupcakes and juice boxes to my kids class. Plus, I had to get ones that were allergen free in addition to the regular ones. I had to bring items for over 20 kids. So...I went to the grocery store and bought 24 cupcakes for $15.99! That is half of what I pay to fill the car. I also got the Capri-sun "100% juice" boxes/pouches, not so organic, but really how much do I have to pay in addition to tuition? The kids go to a pre-school where most of the parents are very "We shop at Wholefoods for everything" type. The cupcakes were neon in color, not so Wholefoods...so all the kids will probably be pooping neon green and orange.lol. Wow, I could have made 24 cupcakes for $1.75. That's why I love them so much, but I didn't want to look too cheap or deal with the mom looks either. I am having a hard time figuring out how to balance the classroom/kids items and dealing with our cash flow without looking like an uncaring mom. I think some of the class and school activities are ridiculous and wonder if I am the only one?
It's been half a year...I stopped writing half a year ago due to feeling stuck, down, and just plain depressed about having to deal with the pain of facing all this debt. I apologize for just going "MIA" and leaving, but it was too hard to face, even the only support I have ever had through this time. I always thought of you guys through the past 6 months, but had a hard time dealing with everything in my life that comes with massive debt. I realized if it is hard now, it will be harder when I am older like my parents and worse, which of course spiraled down into a deeper bad feeling. Wth the expense of my brother's wedding (when I wrote last) and everything on top of it...I decided to seek a family counselor to help me a little.
I have worked my butt off working the evenings. WE ARE FINALLY "CURRENT" with our Mortgage TODAY!!! Most items are lower, but some have gone up after we put them on the back burner for the house. Nonetheless I am trying to work through it. I hope you are all well and thank you so much at the beginning of all this. There was no way without anyone's support I would have even seeked a new job or help.
Best and Back Soon!
It's been a week and a half since I last wrote. During that time I was working hard at my new server job, trying to keep the house/kids/family in order, and am now getting over a severe cold. I feel a little beat still trying to get the bills paid. Plus as I get to the other side of the dollar bill...I am finding out a few more friends are somewhat two faced. I had one friend cancel a get together/playdate with me and the kids to hang out with a group that I don't hang out with anymore. I had no idea until someone told me she saw her there on the same day we were supposed to get together. It really hurt my feelings and I am not sure what to do about that. Then again, I had kind of a feeling she was doing that the way she canceled out. So, I am still finding the truth with other areas of my life, aside from finances. However, although we are still scraping by, things are better with our communication with money and other areas of our life. So I figure once we are strong on all fronts, the other stuff will even out. In the mean time, it's just not too fun right now.
So, this evening was a little hectic because I am still training as a server. They still gave me a few tables and helped me, but it was really busy due to the Saturday. I hate to say it, but I don't think a few tables will be back. Plus, one of the food runners spilled soup on a woman at one of the large tables I had.
However...despite it all, I made $88. This will be for part of gas and groceries. We are still on that hamster wheel of debt trying to get off, but at least it's slowing down a little.
Also, THANK YOU GUYS for your amazing support , opinions/thoughts, and ideas.
I made some money lat night training at my new job as a server. One of the tables was great, everything went well and a $30 tip. The other table went badly in that I either mis-ordered or they pointed to the wrong thing on the menu. The manager comped their drinks ($20 worth) and part of the entrees. They left less than %10. Ouch! I only got two tables to train with and made $35, but walked out with $22 since I had to tip the bussers etc. Anyway, reality hit that I am going to have to work my tail off, but that's o.k. I left with $22 more than I had! As for plane tickets, I have to get them this weekend. I'll just go and leave the family behind. It kind of makes me want to cry since I know I'll have to deal with the "Why didn't your husband and kids come etc?"
*Update: I just spent $465 to get just myself to the wedding. OUCH> out of any budget, but I'd regret not going. However, the family is staying behind. I'll be there only for a day so I won't have to spend anymore on a rental car, food, staying with family stress, and can make it back for a work shift Sunday.
We still owe for this months mortage in addition to what's already been paid, but have been catching up fast. My brother is getting married next month and I am wondering if I should just go to save money or if I should take the whole family. It's just one of those really hard decisions. It's either paying for one or four? I feel kind of stuck about it. We will have to pay for tickets in the next couple of days since the price will double if it gets too close to the date of departure. The amount it will cost for the tickets will be around the same amount that is owed for the mortgage. Plus we still have other bills to catch up on. thoughts?
I won a trip to Maui via a drawing (hotel/resort stay, not flights), but will be giving it away as a partial gift to a family member for their wedding. Since we can't afford the tickets to fly everyone, I figured they might enjoy it more since they wouldn't afford the trip on their own (flights, we'll pay for since they are closer to the islands). As for the restaurant job...I trained for a day and will start this week. I am pretty sure I will do well since the Sunday seemed busy. When I did the walk in and drive by last week, it was also fairly busy. So, I think it should help. At this point, any amount will be helpful. I am also trying to keep a positive attitude thinking that I clean/serve food all the time and at least I'm getting paid for it.lol. Right now we are also trying to find creative ways to get more time with the bill paying, calling, etc. Plus, I have been trying to make amends with certain people/reaching out, but they don't seem to want to reciprocate or resolve things, which is fine. At least I know and can move on. I feel at this point while everything is mostly surfaced (some still surfacing) and painful, I might as well face it and deal with all the yucky stuff to get those life chanels cleared for better things. I think the hardest thing out of the whole situation is just trying to keep my hope/strength/positive thoughts going because, well...sometimes it's hard not to want to feel bummed out and down. Nonetheless, I am still truckin' through as usual.
I stopped by the steak restaurant yesterday and they hired me, kinda...I have to go in and shadow another server for a shift. I must say, it felt really weird applying for this job. After writing down my career experience/post schooling, I had to explain to them that I worked as a server/had experience/knowledge of drinks etc, but 10 years ago. Anyway, I really hope this works out well. As for the broken microwave, I called Costco and they said to return it anyway even if it is 4 years old. I was told that I would be refunded the "current" value of it, so it could only be $20, compared to the $100 (ish) paid. Nonetheless, how cool is that! I called goodwill, salvation army stores, savers, and another thrift shop to see if they had any because I know that the refund at Costco won't cover the cost of a new one...none of the thrift stores had any. So, I'll check craigslist too. Other than that, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the server job works out well so I can get these bills paid off!
Today was perhaps the last heated meal with our four year old microwave from Costco. It was the panasonic/inverter model and was working pretty well and got a lot of use. Plus, I'm not the most gentle with mechanical things too. I have that "Non mechanical midas touch" I'd say. So, I went to heat some left overs after swimming today and it lit up and then just went blank. I checked the normal things like the plug etc. I also did the ever famous "hit the side of it a few times" move. I also did the "push the buttons harder" strategy. Both failed to work. I ended up heating my meal in a pan. I'm going to have my husband take a look at it and hopefully he can fix it. If not, off to microwave heaven for the inverter. The car also still needs to get fixed, plus I knocked the right side mirror off again. This time I clipped the side of a Fedex truck. The truck was fine, but the poor mirror just dangled there. I got it all ducked taped up again. Hooray for duct tape, but boo to my driving abilities. Anyway, my husband will come home earlier so I can apply for the server position tomorrow. Perhaps if I get the job they will let me take home left over food and I won't have to cook or heat up stuff? lol.
I got refunded from Netflix, which was a nice relief. I also got a few thing done that I have been meaning to do for a while. However, I did deal with a few child melt downs, but stood my ground to my toddler with the ever famous mom word of "No." lol. I called the steakhouse and spoke with the manager, they pay the server minumum wage, which in MA is apparently $2.85/hour, plus tips. I am trying to figure out a schedule with my husband. I am pretty sure they will hire me since they really need people/are a newer restaurant, which is good because I really want and need the money. I keep meaning to update the side tab since some of the cards went down, Amex got lower. This process has been somewhat painful, but I heard a quote today that said "Pain is the plow that opens the heart to see the truth." I thought I could relate to that.
"SHOW ME THE MONEEEEEY." O.K, so scrounging for change, althogh being successful with it, and stressing about finding juice box/fruit money for my kiddos lunch is not something I'm too fond of. In fact, after this "Broke as a joke" phase of my life, my goal is never to do this again. However, I know it will take time to dig myself out of this one. Anyway, I am trying to find an evening job to get to make some extra money. What I am finding are front/desk gym jobs or server or hostess jobs. The front desk jobs are paying $8(ish), along with the hostess, as for the server jobs, well, that depends on who walks in at night etc. So I am thinking maybe I should try a server job even though I have not done it for 10 years! Then again, my financial situation seems to be where I was at 10 years prior, actually worse now that I think about it. Anyway, I'd get paid for serving meals and cleaning up, which is what I already do as a mom. However, the restaurant I was thinking about that's hiring is in my hometown and I keep thinking how awkward it would be to wait/serve on friends or people I am aquanted with. Ayayayay. Dunno what to do at this point? Plus, every mom is looking for that Babysitting position/nanny thing to do so those are hard to come by. My business isn't bringing anything in right now and we are just limited with my husbands salary. Perhaps finding a restaurant located in a different town farther away??