Should I just fly out or take the family?

March 31st, 2011 at 10:46 pm

We still owe for this months mortage in addition to what's already been paid, but have been catching up fast. My brother is getting married next month and I am wondering if I should just go to save money or if I should take the whole family. It's just one of those really hard decisions. It's either paying for one or four? I feel kind of stuck about it. We will have to pay for tickets in the next couple of days since the price will double if it gets too close to the date of departure. The amount it will cost for the tickets will be around the same amount that is owed for the mortgage. Plus we still have other bills to catch up on. thoughts?

Posted in Debt | 15 Comments »

15 Responses to “Should I just fly out or take the family?”

MonkeyMama Says:
March 31st, 2011 at 11:08 pm 1301612892
1301612892

How many miles away is this wedding? Is driving an option?
mamas debt time out Says:
March 31st, 2011 at 11:10 pm 1301613042
1301613042

Unfortunately it's on the other side of the country(:
creditcardfree Says:
March 31st, 2011 at 11:31 pm 1301614273
1301614273

That is a tough one. It seems you really can't afford it. Have you talked to your brother about this? Does he know your financial situation? Is there anyone who could pay for the ticket(s) until you get your mortgage under control?

Your mortgage is REALLY important. It's the place where you live. Your shelter. If you don't pay you could lose your home. I think you need to consider not going. I hate saying that. I really do.
MonkeyMama Says:
March 31st, 2011 at 11:37 pm 1301614652
1301614652

So it is in the U.S. Driving is an option, most definitely.

Driving may be too expensive in your situation. I mean, I understand it's not terribly feasible to drive cross country with kids, or alone, for just one wedding. Plus, flying alone probably makes more sense financially, then driving all across the country (auto expense/hotels).

I think I'd skip it, if it were me. It is a tough one, though.
mamas debt time out Says:
March 31st, 2011 at 11:40 pm 1301614818
1301614818

I told my brother/and fiance.they understand. It's mostly my parents that don't. Get this...my mother sent a check for a few hundred and wrote one of those "Here's a gift to help, but we can't afford it etc" cards. Not really a gift. I'm not going to cash it since my mother is a major shopohaulic and it makes me wonder if the check would bounce anyway.
creditcardfree Says:
March 31st, 2011 at 11:59 pm 1301615995
1301615995

If your parents are in a bad financial situation and haven't come to terms with that for themselves it will be very hard for them to 'get' your situation.

Why don't you make a long term plan to visit brother and his wife once you are on your feet? Even if it is a year or more it will give you a goal to shoot for and make the hard work pay off!
mamas debt time out Says:
April 1st, 2011 at 12:30 am 1301617814
1301617814

@ Creditcardfree, VERY good point about the parents not "getting" it. I just don't want to be the family jerk that missed her brothers wedding. Plus, I don't want to deal with the family stares/back whispering when we do catch up in the future and do go to other functions. I am hoping that the new waitress job can help make some money too. It's just so difficult.
My English Castle Says:
April 1st, 2011 at 01:11 am 1301620309
1301620309

My advice? Don't worry what people think and don't continue your family spending patterns. If you feel you need to go(and I understand that), go by yourself. Make an excuse about the kids not being able to come, and pay your mortgage. That's more important than a one-time event.
creditcardfree Says:
April 1st, 2011 at 01:25 am 1301621134
1301621134

Can your family make a video that could be played at event? Could you skype your good wishes live at the reception? Could someone read a message from your family at the ceremony or the reception? In other words, is there a way to make your joy for their union known? Get creative!!

And really don't worry about what others think. You are doing the right thing.
mamas debt time out Says:
April 1st, 2011 at 02:06 am 1301623599
1301623599

I was also thinking that I should start doing double shifts on the weekend too. lunch/dinner on Sat/Sun to hopefully help.
FrugalTexan75 Says:
April 1st, 2011 at 04:00 am 1301630411
1301630411

I'll ditto what CCF said about Skype/video. In your situation, I definitely think that is the way you should go. In a year or two when you are in a better place, plan to do some special event with your brother and his wife.
CB in the City Says:
April 1st, 2011 at 01:12 pm 1301663547
1301663547

Honestly, if it were me, I would go to my brother's wedding, but not take the family. A wedding is a really special event and I'm afraid you might always regret it if you didn't go. That said, I think you should stretch yourself however you can and keep plugging at that mortgage, too.

However, that's me; if you don't feel a strong "pull" to go to the wedding, other than family pressure, then don't compromise your mortgage. Follow CCF's advice and find a way to share your joy creatively.
My English Castle Says:
April 1st, 2011 at 06:11 pm 1301681506
1301681506

I agree with CCF, CV, and Frugal (as always). If you need to go, go. But not the family. And double shifts seem like a great idea no matter what. You've got to get caught up. But more earning along won't get you out of this mess, focus on your spending too.
debtfreeme Says:
April 1st, 2011 at 09:40 pm 1301694026
1301694026

If you have spoken with your brother and his fiancee and they understand then I would not go. OR I would go but leave the family behind.
international student Says:
June 16th, 2018 at 06:51 pm 1529175095
1529175095

Talk to you bro! I am sure that he will understand your situation! Do not worry to ask him this question!

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Mamas Debt Time Outs

This is a blog about my journey out of debt as a mom.

Should I just fly out or take the family?

15 Responses to “Should I just fly out or take the family?”

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