So, despite doing the full time mom/maid/chef thing during the day (minus the two half days kids are in school), working evenings, and trying to climb out of debt, I am running into some, well, incompetance with the hubby. I went to work this evening only for a few hours and all I asked him to do was "Change the kids bed sheets, put new ones on, and give them a bath." I came home and only one kid was bathed, the other one was still up coloring, one bed was changed, but no new sheets and he said he did some dishes (a few cups). Wow, this is not fun and while I pointed out that he didn't really help me or do the things I asked, he stormed off somewhere. So it makes me wonder if I should hire a college or high school kid to help at maybe $10 an hour 1-2 times a week/4 hours total to watch the kids while I do the rest around the house? It has been like this for sometime now, hubby thinks all he has to do is got to work and come home. I would be spending $40, but wonder if it's worth it or try and cut some corners elsewhere?
Really...do I have to do everything?
November 4th, 2011 at 01:06 am
November 4th, 2011 at 02:14 am 1320372863
Maybe then he will get the message?
If he is not willing to help on a regular basis, I would save the $40 and just do what you can do.
Your house does not have to be perfect. Maybe you can come up with some kind of cleaning/chore schedule for youself. When your kids are in school, do the things that are hard to get done when they are home and save the rest for a later time or day.
Good luck!
November 4th, 2011 at 03:38 am 1320377914
And keep smiling.
November 4th, 2011 at 04:14 am 1320380072
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?pagewa...
November 4th, 2011 at 12:59 pm 1320411558
List, list, list!
My kids work best with a "to do" list. Highlight prioritiy tasks so their importance is illustrated.
My DH *thinks* he can multi-task like load the dishwasher and help with math at the same time. I'd never do this. However, after spending lots of October in a vicodin-induced haze/fog due to dental issues, DH stepped up and guess what? The dishes were clean and the homework was done even if not in the manner that I'd do it.
Good luck! I'd save the money and maybe treat yourself with a small indulgence because you're clearly the winner of the "Woman of the House"! (hugs)
November 4th, 2011 at 03:01 pm 1320418912
I have 2 kids, now 11 and 13 and a (now) reasonably helpful husband. However, it took nearly 10 years to get it this way!! Nagging and being grouchy have gotten me some free time, but also a lot of gray hair and lines in my forehead. My daughter mimics me too much which is awful to see reflected.
The only advice I can offer is hard to follow. Let it go a little. As I have gotten older (50s now) it is MUCH easier to NOT have the floors swept most every day, to NOT straighten the beds and to NOT have the kitchen sparkling clean with no dirty dishes at the end of the day.
It will probably take you the same years to get to this point.
If you have a better sense of humor than me (weak here) then make jokes somehow about it, make the work into some sort of play. It's hard but every so often it helps.
Keep venting on line cause it is better than in person toward your family. HANG IN THERE!!!!
November 4th, 2011 at 04:52 pm 1320425541
Remember most boys aren't raised to see a mess like girls are. Make an effort to raise your children so they understand how, why, and when we clean the house.
November 8th, 2011 at 02:13 am 1320718394
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?pagewanted=all
THAT article was great!!! LOVED it! Thank you
November 10th, 2011 at 12:35 am 1320885311
Probably the worst housework issues i've had with a man was living with someone who was not only the youngest in his family but the only boy, with 3 older sisters! Red flag, red flag, red flag!!
He was too lazy to clean up after himself so he'd put used and dirty dishes in the cabinet and yes, even in the freezer! How gross is that? His rationale was well, I know I'm going to have ice cream again tomorrow night, so why bother washing the bowl? I can just stick it in the freezer!
He gouged grooves in my counter top after using it as a cutting board. He got in the habit of putting all his weight on his arms and swinging like a monkey on the banister as he went down the stairs until i told him he was going to break my banister that way. Yeah, this was a grown man in his 40s. I started sounding like someone's mother nagging yelling at him all the time.
He'd open a window in the dead of winter if he got too warm and let all my precious heat fly right out the window. Umm, did you ever think to lower the thermostat????
This had been for years a long distance relationship and obviously i had no idea who the real person was. He was living in California at the time we reconnected, and while we initially agreed that he would rent an apartment somewhere in CT after we decided to try out the relationship for real, I felt bad that he was giving up his career (he was burnt out and was looking for an exit) and moving across the country just to be with me. So I invited him to live in my house. Shudder. Lesson learned.
June 16th, 2018 at 06:46 pm 1529174806