So, after lots of filtering of piles, files, and stacks here is my current "Truth" of where I am right now, it's pretty painful: Most are all very past due.

Student Loan: $54,069.63
Mortgage Payment (past due/working with bank): $6000
Mastercard: $16,751.56
American Express: $2,179.48
Discover Card: 1958.78
Orchard Card: $ 1000
Care Credit: $1000
Home Depot: $911.71
Skin Care: $45.89
Hospital: $ 884.99
Citi Card: $1,200
ADT: 130.30
Phone: $366
Electric: $494.52
Gas: $962.79

TOTAL:$ -81,589.65

I am sure there are a few left out, but this is what I confronted today and seeing it written down is shocking. This didn't happen overnight though. I just let it get out of hand. The mastercard and home depot cards went toward our house, which is still draining money from us due to lots of fixing that is still needed. I guess I'm like the house, lots of fixing needed, but no finances to back it up. However, I did read a mother's blog about how she was $-93,000 and got out in 3 years, which gives me hope. I want this to be gone in less than 5 years. I ordered a ramsey book (didn't pay, had some amazon dollars left)and heard that his snowball debt paying method works. So what I can do now is take action...I'll find a phone DA to call this week. I'll cut out any other extras that I haven't cut out, meal plan/cook in bulk, sell anything that I am not using or donate it for the tax credits at least. I'll keep tabs on everything that I buy. For the first time in my life I want to stop hiding, stop being frightened by my fears, stop using food and money to fill the void and to start healing. I don't want to blame my parents anymore for not teaching me about money. I will now have to learn what they failed to teach and pass it to my children. This will be the toughest financial journey I have ever faced, but the thought that one day I can experience not oweing anyone/credit and being financially free out weighs the current fears I've had. Wow, getting the truth out was somewhat painful, but relieving at the same time. I now get to focus on the actions that are needed now and not just the numbers getting higher.

I am on a mission... This is my first blog and my first step in getting to the truth about my debt. Right now my desk has bills, stacks, and misc piles of magazines, newspapers, random receipts, and kids stickers. I can't take it anymore and decided to tackle the many problem piles that I have (AKA the many problems that I'm dealing with)I have to tackle what I will call the "Truth Piles."
It's going to be scary facing the phone bill that reads Due:$366 or the past due water,electric, and many other past due bills.sigggggggggggggh. However, the burden has become much greater than the pain of facing these sharp, square, pieces of paper that tell me I'm a delinquent. Here I go... I'll list all my past due bill numbers later, but it will take a while. I'll have to give myself a sticker as a reward in the end. Perhaps if it works for my kids potty training it will work for me