I feel like a hamster on one of those hamster wheels trying to get off the ride. However, I've stopped running on the wheel, but it continues to spin while I'm on it and now I feel like I'm a little beat down. This week I had charges, which are usually automated and were put on hold, go through and hit my account! Now really, it's so easy for them to take the money out, appologize, but so hard for them to put it back in the account. It will take 3-5 business days to get reimbursed on my netflix account money and my skin care program money, both were put on hold, but for whatever reason (full moon?) hit anyway. So, that $50 won't see my account until next week, which was supposed to go toward a credit card with a pay plan where they held the interest, only if we paid the $50. Aside from that, we have only $55 in our checking account, but it will probably go in the red on Monday when a gas charge from Wednesday didn't get posted until today. We still owe the dentist $900, but then will get reimbursed after we pay, even though we already paid a portion of it. Plus, my student loan, part of this months mortgage, and utility bills are due. My car is also rebelling, it took 15 miniutes yesterday to even want to start and when I got it going, it barely ran well. Right now I am trying not to be one of those magnets that attract all sorts of yucky stuff and am trying to fend off everything with all my strength, but am starting to feel beat down. I guess the image of a person being attacked by flying/pecking demons while they are trying to throw them off their back comes to mind (from a movie I saw). So...I guess this is what the feeling of being at rock bottom feels like...just plain old discouragement and wanting to throw my hands up to the Big Guy in the Sky and say "O.k buddy, I get it, we're broke and in a hot mess, but seriously man, give us a break because were trying!"
Oh...so this is what rock bottom looks like.
March 19th, 2011 at 01:36 pm