So, around the time I decided to uncover the truth about finances, I also found out that a mom I thought was nice/a friend is two faced and decided to perpetuate the "he said she said" garbage to other moms about me. It's been trying to figure out how to control the fire she's spreading. Wow, that kind of hurt too.I guess to a certain degree I should be grateful since life is surfacing new truths, real people, and areas of my life that need dramatic attention. I've also found that many moms are the "One Uppers" and seem to be fueled on being competative and negative. It apparently has been getting worse as the kiddos get older, which is something I am not enjoying. Others are just like sheep and do whatever everyone else is doing or saying and seem to have lost any kind of straight opinion of their own. Anyway, aside from figuring out where my money goes, it seems to be the same with my friendships and realizing that a shift in better friends/investing in better friends is needed too. This process just like my finances is a little painful too.
Some moms are just mean,,,Investing in better friends
February 15th, 2011 at 02:18 pm
February 15th, 2011 at 02:27 pm 1297780033
As painful as it is to honestly evaluate our relationships with friends, it is necessary from time-to-time. My bff was a bff in name only, and since I've done the fade, life is better. I realized it was a one-sided relationship (she did all of the dumping and complaining, and I only listened. When I had something to say, she didn't have time to hear it). I have had to force myself to promote healthier relationships with moms at the school that I have things in common with or generally just "like". And actually in one hour, I'm getting together with a mom that I really like but don't know very well. We're having coffee at my invitation. Good luck finding worth-while friends! It is so worth the look!
February 15th, 2011 at 04:37 pm 1297787835
February 15th, 2011 at 04:53 pm 1297788826
I kind of bowed out of any "mom groups" when my kids were 3 or 4, accordingly.
Don't get me wrong - I met a few great people. BUT, it was also the one and only time in my life people tried to tell me who I could and could not talk to or be friends with.
I also found it hard to be frugal in these type groups. I knew people were struggling financially, most more than me, and I have always been very frugal. If no one else would speak up, I'd be the first to mention cheaper alternatives to outings, etc. Instead of others speaking up and agreeing, I was kind of pegged by as the "no fun cheapo." So I threw up my hands and gave up.
Fast forward 5 years and everyone is divorced, in foreclosure and filed for bankruptcy.
February 15th, 2011 at 05:14 pm 1297790050
February 15th, 2011 at 05:30 pm 1297791057
I've found the gossip/cattiness dies down a bit as kids age and parents work more, etc. There was certainly some of that in our neighborhood too. But now all the moms work and there is no sitting around gossiping all day. So I feel it has gotten better with age. I never got knee deep in the BS with the neighbors, so can deal with them a little better.
To be fair -the early years - babies and toddlers - are tough times - and think of all those HORMONES flying around!!
We recently made friends with the family of my youngest's little girlfriend. Really like them, but they keep asking us to join the parenting group. All I can think is, "UGH!"
February 15th, 2011 at 05:36 pm 1297791419
February 15th, 2011 at 06:05 pm 1297793158
Well, no one would talk to me when I got there. Even when I directly spoke to someone, I was ignored! I did not know what was going on, but figured it had to do with the past history of the group (all were moms and their kids). Now that I think about it, it probably had something to do with rumor and supposition, maybe not even rumor about me, but perhaps rumor about the person who'd been my contact with the group.
Since this was my initial contact with the group, it was very easy for me to just walk away puzzled but unscathed. I'm sure it is harder to do when you know there are rumors and judgments about you personally. Good grief. What gets into people?
February 15th, 2011 at 06:17 pm 1297793861
February 15th, 2011 at 07:04 pm 1297796684
Good luck.
February 15th, 2011 at 09:46 pm 1297806401
February 15th, 2011 at 11:13 pm 1297811634
February 16th, 2011 at 12:14 am 1297815241
February 16th, 2011 at 02:12 am 1297822353